The Time Thief
We all have a time thief in our lives, stealing blocks of time at will. This is a story of how I banished a toxic relationship and reclaimed back my time.
In the summer of 2010, I met John at the Apple Convention.
John was quite charming — his manner — mesmerising.
It seemed like he was a walking and talking encyclopedia. He had a lovely voice, too.
We started a conversation and soon became best mates. Soon, he was helping me in my business and became my business partner. We launched our new business venture.
But there was an awkward charm in John. He would speak for days on end, and when it came to my turn to speak, he would often divert any topic toward him.
I got a lot of value from John, but I was losing my focus. Focus was my core strength, and it has seen me rough through the worst periods of my life. His voice and his friendly mannerisms kept our relationship going.
The Manipulator
Soon, I figured that John had this particular narcissism in him. John was a manipulator.
I started falling behind. I would procrastinate and put off things until later. Not that I was blaming John for this, but let’s say he was a major influence.
I found myself spending hours and hours each day with John, but my attention span was ever-decreasing. I tried speaking to John about this, and he would come out clean. “Go to the doctor,” he would say. I would then feel the guilt. I tried quitting this relationship multiple times but couldn’t.
John was my Time Thief, stealing blocks of time from my life.
Then, one day, I hatched a plan. I locked John up in a room and turned off the main switch. He didn’t like darkness. I timed it — exactly four hours.
John was my iPhone and his battery was dead.
I had surrendered my will to this piece of tool and humanised it for long. But no more.
I let my phone become the time thief because I let it.
Since that incident, I have now deleted almost all the apps on the phone (except the default ones). If there is anything I need to do with the internet, I have moved to my laptop.
What changed?
I will not parrot the harmful effects of the phone, but these things happened since I quit my phone.
- I have now moved to Async Communication. I no longer answer the phone when people call me. I call them back.
- If it is urgent, they can call me again. I pick it up at the 3rd call.
- I have gained my mental clarity.
- I have moved away from digital back to analogue systems. I have this piece written on paper.
- I carry a pen and notepad to capture all my thoughts.
- I go for long walks without my phone. It’s nourishing for my soul.
- I have become unreachable on Saturdays. I even plug off my router. There are no internet days for me and my family on Saturdays.
It’s hard and awkward
Yes, it feels hard, but I have found a true connection in the disconnection. I am no longer a slave to my phone. I have started focusing more on my interests and reclaiming my empire — Little by Little, Brick by Brick.
- Writing. I dedicate 2 hours daily to writing/study of writing.
- Meeting people with more intent with my phone switched off.
- Photography
- Tabla — The Indian percussion instrument I am learning from scratch.
- Building my ultimate side hustle
I have since muted John. He can no longer call me, but I can call him, and that is OK.
You have a John, Suzy, Raj or Priyanka in your lives. They are quite like John.
Be the action hero. Give it a name and end that relationship with the tool.
Relegate them to the status of just a tool and not your friend.
Because they are the ultimate time thief.
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